Parenting + Stress = Depression

I hear the saying, when you think you will, then you are.

Sadly it goes for both the negative and the positive thoughts.

Well after all said and done, I tried to do a lots ot activities to help manage myself, but parenthood is simply a "REAL-LIFE" full time job on top of any of my full time work.

I'm depressed.

I'm depressed because I can see how different I have become between when I was just a husband and now that I'm a dad. I realized a lot of things that I never thought of happening whe I became a father. I thought that being a father is something you can solve by reverse-engineering what you've expreienced as a child.

BUT NO...

Fatherhood for me is a phase in my life where the complexity of the individuality of a growing child unfolds right in front of your eyes and 95% of the time you will be caught off-guard. Everything is impromptu and preparation is useless.

Sorry to say this but in my opinion, nobody is qualified to write a book about parenting. Even people with PHDs or MDs are only limited to provide ideas based on psychological pattens and gathered scientific facts. What does this mean? the books are NOT fortune tellers and are only as good as stale news about how childrens and parents were doing in the past. In the end, you as a parent will have to deal with your own child future one day at a time.

How do you solve this issue? Well here's some news for you... YOU DONT.

This is an issue you can't fix why? My theory is because everyday is a new day, and each day promises a person to have new ideas bad or good, and a new way of doing things... new environment, school, diet, culture, psychological interpretations, new peers growing in the same theory.

Where does my depression comes in? well is somwhere between handling 5 BIG projects in work, being a good husband, and a being father with a kid demanding attention to his new-found ideas, activities and thoughts. Sadly on my end, my work has eaten most of my quality time... SHAME on ME for putting my wife and kid's time on the line.

Shrenks will love this question: I love my kid and wife so much yet I'm obliged to keep my family alive. My wife is getting frustrated with my almost immovable time of my ever intrusive business, and stress is leaking out myself that the simple but constant naughtiness of my son has become unbearable.

DUH! it's a rather rhetorical question but seriously where does my road lead to?

Vacation vacation vacation... I really want to have and afford a 1 YEAR vacation with my family. I really havent had any quality vacation for the past 9 years and I think I'm due or I'll bust.

I'm still looking for ways to get over this depression because where I am right now is simply more than a load full for me and parenting and stress changes people a lot.

On the queer side, I hope that

Parenting+Stress+Depression - breakdown= weight loss

that should compensate somehow :-|