Parenting + Stress = Depression

I hear the saying, when you think you will, then you are.

Sadly it goes for both the negative and the positive thoughts.

Well after all said and done, I tried to do a lots ot activities to help manage myself, but parenthood is simply a "REAL-LIFE" full time job on top of any of my full time work.

I'm depressed.

I'm depressed because I can see how different I have become between when I was just a husband and now that I'm a dad. I realized a lot of things that I never thought of happening whe I became a father. I thought that being a father is something you can solve by reverse-engineering what you've expreienced as a child.

BUT NO...

Fatherhood for me is a phase in my life where the complexity of the individuality of a growing child unfolds right in front of your eyes and 95% of the time you will be caught off-guard. Everything is impromptu and preparation is useless.

Sorry to say this but in my opinion, nobody is qualified to write a book about parenting. Even people with PHDs or MDs are only limited to provide ideas based on psychological pattens and gathered scientific facts. What does this mean? the books are NOT fortune tellers and are only as good as stale news about how childrens and parents were doing in the past. In the end, you as a parent will have to deal with your own child future one day at a time.

How do you solve this issue? Well here's some news for you... YOU DONT.

This is an issue you can't fix why? My theory is because everyday is a new day, and each day promises a person to have new ideas bad or good, and a new way of doing things... new environment, school, diet, culture, psychological interpretations, new peers growing in the same theory.

Where does my depression comes in? well is somwhere between handling 5 BIG projects in work, being a good husband, and a being father with a kid demanding attention to his new-found ideas, activities and thoughts. Sadly on my end, my work has eaten most of my quality time... SHAME on ME for putting my wife and kid's time on the line.

Shrenks will love this question: I love my kid and wife so much yet I'm obliged to keep my family alive. My wife is getting frustrated with my almost immovable time of my ever intrusive business, and stress is leaking out myself that the simple but constant naughtiness of my son has become unbearable.

DUH! it's a rather rhetorical question but seriously where does my road lead to?

Vacation vacation vacation... I really want to have and afford a 1 YEAR vacation with my family. I really havent had any quality vacation for the past 9 years and I think I'm due or I'll bust.

I'm still looking for ways to get over this depression because where I am right now is simply more than a load full for me and parenting and stress changes people a lot.

On the queer side, I hope that

Parenting+Stress+Depression - breakdown= weight loss

that should compensate somehow :-|

Day 9

hey I have some nice news, lost about 1.5kg for the past 8 days. I hope that despite the "evilish" mongolian treat last night LOL, the diet efforts are starting to kick-off.

Breakfast:
actually none yet - BAD

TBC

Day 8

Breakfast:
1/2 cup of coffee
3 bites of the spanish bread (mostly the crust part)


Lunch:
50g asado continued :P


Dinner:
well, my buddy celebrated his birthday and Mongolian dinner was his treat.

For those who are not familiar with mongolian dish, it's one of those food trips where you pick "raw" ingredients on to your plate like raw beef tenderloin strips, chicken and pork. You will also need to pick the "base" of your dish e.g. rice, egg noodles, or clear noodles. Plus, you need to add necessary spices (not the hot ones) like bell peppers, ginger,and veggies like string beans, etc.. finally the sauce or seasoning - there are lots like: oyster sauce, teriyaki, soy, peanut, sesame chili. You then give your plate to the chef and he'll cook/stir-fry it.

My impression/comment is though... for you to appreciate this dish, you need to have a bit of cooking skills - which means you can imagine the fusion of taste after the dish is done. Wrong set or measure of ingredients may result to a very unpleasant taste. And dont expect the stir-fry guy to magically make it taste nice for you. Eventhough thats what the waiter is saying.

Anyway, here's the "buffet" for the ingredients.




Fortunately, I've been cooking since I was 8, I'm not a chef, but lots of experience on various dishes taught me well.

So for my dinner, I got the following:

1/4 cup cooked rice.
1/2 cup egg noodles boiled and oiled already
about 80g of raw beef strips
about 50g of raw chicken

about 8 strips Julienne-cut carrot just for flavor
dash of onion leeks
about 6 strips of ginger just for flavor as well
2 tbsp of mung bean sprouts
1/16 tsp of red chili - careful it's just a dinner plate-size dish
1/8 tsp garlic
1 tsp onion

1/2 tsp of oyster sauce - careful for flavor only, this is very salty
4 tbsp of teriyaki sauce - nice and sweet
1/4 tsp roasted sesame seeds
1/2 tbsp sesame oil
1/2 tbsp roasted peanut
1/2 tsp brown sugar.

have it stir fried...

the result.... :-D

From kikoventure

Overall I'm happy that it turned out to be what I expected... not greasy, sweet, mild, and nutty. What I didn't expect was the serving size - WOW it's good enough for 2.

Day 7

Just finished helping cook viand for the family (Chinese asado). But I womnt be able to eat it because aside from my diet, I have a casual board meeting in guess what... McDonalds - :p the directors "simply" ordered sausage mcmuffins and chucken nuggets.

so here's my breakfast for the 4-hr meeting:

1 sausage mcmuffin with egg.
5 pc chicken nuggets
about 10g of french fries
2 coffee - no sugar and cream

Lunch:
none


Dinner:
2 soft boiled eggs
about 20g of the Asado

Day 6

Kid's school report card day they are starting an hour earlier then usual... good luck.

Morning:

few sips of coffee.
3 1/8" clices of luncheon meat - shool canteen food :P


Lunch:
1 empanada snack size
1/2 syvannas about 5g

Dinner:
3pc dimsum about 45g
1 siopao bola filling - idn't want to eat the flour dough.

Day 5

Breakfast:
1 Spanish bread - damn flour.
sip of coffee.


Lunch:
50g Chinese Kikiam

Dinner:
50g Chinese Kikiam - still

Day 4

Hi, finally got 6 hours sleep my work deadline is still up bu the deliverables are less intense.

Today's Rule moving forward: NO CHIPS! and no White Flour - based foods

I'm starting my day with about
125g of tuna omelette.
1 cup of coffee.


Lunch:
100g Buttered Broccoli with button mushroom - wife's style :D - NICE!


Dinner:
70g Vegetable spring rolls and 4pc steamed shrimp siomai